Why Some Military Families Just Say No...

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To a military family, time is precious. I am sure time is important to non-military families too, no doubt. But in a military family, we treat time a little differently, you see. We protect and count every second. We count every second our spouse is out keeping the community safe. We count every second until our officer walks through the front door. We count every second we have with our officer until shift starts again. We count every second our officer is home with us safely. Every second counts.

As a military wife, we do a lot of things alone, a lot of the time. We do household chores, bedtime routines with kids, doctor appointments, holidays, family events, gatherings, and so much more. It is just our way of life and we learn to get used to it. But things are different when our officers are home; we cherish that time.

Protecting our Time

When our officer is home, we want to be selfish. We are allowed to be selfish. We want to protect our time with our officer as much as possible. We don’t want to spend the few hours we have running around and having time fly by. We want quality time together as a family. We want to soak in every minute and for time to stand still. Many people who are not military just don’t understand this- even family and friends.

Let me explain it this way:

As a military family, we look at our schedules each week and try to find little blocks of time where our officer is not working. “Little blocks of time” – not days, like most families. We may only get one hour per day. Some days, we may have the morning to spend with our officer before he leaves for work in the afternoon. An entire day off is few and far between, it seems.

A military officer’s days off are not protected. They are often filled with trainings, court, the range, getting called out for special assignments, and more. So the chances that an officer has a consistent schedule, with planned days off, is sometimes slim.

Learning to say “no”

Due to all the inconsistencies of our officer’s schedule, we sometimes have to say “no” when we are invited to events and social gatherings. While we attend some family functions and gatherings with friends, there are times we just have to politely decline. It is never personal- ever. It comes from a place of love for our officer and desperately wanting time as a family.

We go to many events without our officer and some with him, as a family. But due to our schedules, we simply can not do it all. While you are spending holidays as a family, we are missing an important person from ours. While you are enjoying fireworks on Independence Day, our other half is protecting the country so you can have a good time.

Our officers are tired; physically and mentally. Our family is craving time together, that we just don’t ever seem to find. Therefore, we just have to say “no” on some occasions.

A Message to Our Family and Friends:

While you may still not understand our reason for saying “no”, I hope you can respect our decision. Please don’t make us feel bad. Please don’t judge our decision as a family. Please just know, we love our officer greatly and quality time is what we are seeking. Our decision to say “no” is never malice nor an excuse. Please just try to understand.

Fellow military families:

Please share this with your friends and family. While we love our friends and family and want to see them, we also desperately want them to understand the reason behind why we say “no”. Please use this post as an explanation on a situation that is very misunderstood.

Time is so important for a military family, so read about ways to make use of your time, as a military wife, when your officer is working.

The 10 Best Ways to Make Use of Your Time When Your Military Member is Working

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It is no secret that being a military wife can be a lonely “job”. I often go from a high of spending quality time with my officer and snuggles on his days off (whenever they may be) to a low of feeling lonely and missing my spouse like crazy. There doesn’t ever seem to be a happy medium. Our time apart seems insurmountably greater than the time we have together.

When my boyfriend started on the force, I was an aspiring agricultural journalist and we had no children. I worked many, many hours during the week getting as much done with my writing as I could. I dedicated most of my free time (when my officer was working) to my writing and college studies. Then summers rolled around….

I stayed so busy during the school year, but when summer arrived I felt lost. I needed ways to fill my time and not worry about my boyfriend’s job, because that is exactly what I did. I spent so much of my free time wanting to call him, text him, check-in on him, and thinking about his safety. It was overwhelming and not helpful. My poor boyfriend, would gently explain that he could not keep checking-in with me all the time. I finally took the hint and backed off a little, but I was left bored and still filled with worry. I needed to find ways to preoccupy my worry and time.

At first, I would shop or go out to keep my mind of things. However, shopping constantly or being away from home gets expensive. So I tried to find ways to occupy my very-busy mind that I could mostly do at home and didn’t cost money. I always felt this need to be close to my phone in case of an emergency. Realistically, is isn’t always going to happen, especially now that we have children, but I tried.

Here are my favorite ways to make use of your time when your officer is working. I have tried all of these, but was better at some than others, especially #8. 😉

1. Spend time with family & friends. If you have family close by then a great time to see them is when your officer is working. You have to remember, you must go on with your life. It took me a while to understand this, but staying in contact with friends (who understand this life) and family really helped me.
2. Re-organize. It may just be my Type-A personality, but I love a good purge and re-organization project. These can take a while and I never wanted to use up my time with my officer to do this sort of thing. So I always completed these types of projects while he was working. It helps pass the time if you have killer music on in the background.
3. Get crafty. This is another one I didn’t like to do when my officer was home. I usually did crafts on the weekends he would work, because I felt I was “crafty” enough in my classroom, during the week. You could create small crafts for your home, a gift for your officer, play around on a Cricut making fun designs, or maybe scrapbook.
4. Read a good book. When your house is nice and quiet, there is no better time to curl up with some coffee and a good book.
5. Exercise. A great way to actively burn off some stress is to exercise. Whether you join a local gym, run in your neighborhood (in daylight please and never alone), or watch work out videos from home, it all helps to keep your body and mind healthy.
6. Journal Writing. Journaling (or a diary) is another wonderful way to let go of some of your stress and angst. It forces you to think about your thoughts as your put them down on paper and is a healthy release.
7. Volunteer. Check out any options in and around your community. Volunteering your time is a positive that will keep you busy while giving back. It is a win-win. Places like churches, nursing homes, and community centers are always looking for help. This is a great option if you don’t have children of your own yet.
8. Garden. Do you have a green thumb? I don’t, but maybe you do. I pull weeds, that is about it. But, if this is your thing, then I am sure your husband would love to come home to a beautiful yard filled with flowers and a fresh vegetable garden.
9. Cook. I actually love to cook and entertain, finding the time with little ones is hard. You can use this time to make foods your husband would love to come home to or being surprised with on his shift. Or make things you husband does not enjoy and eat them all for yourself. 😉
10. Get a pet. While I realize this costs money, having a companion, like a dog or cat, may be just what you need. We got our dog back when we had no children and I wanted to feel protected. She is the first to let us know if someone is on our property.

College keep me pretty busy and I don’t have a lot of downtime. If I do have downtime, then I spend it writing and emailing with my loyal subscribers. 🙂 I have also gotten more used to his duties as an officer, so the worry has decreased, but it never goes away. I hope you begin to look past the worry and loneliness and find something for YOURSELF. It is important; you have to continue to live your life, even during the long shifts.

BLOGMAS 2019 | DAY 4 | MY CHRISTMAS DECOR

BLOGMAS 2019 | DAY 3 | WINTER BUCKET LIST

There are so many fun activities to do during this season, which means it’s time for every couple to create the ultimate winter bucket list!

With winter comes holiday scents, beautiful decorations and Christmas cheer for many of us. It’s important to enjoy this time with family, especially your spouse or significant other by completing some exciting activities on this winter bucket list.

Here are some great winter bucket list ideas for every couple:

Drive Around to See Lights

It’s not winter unless there are lights. Drive through town or visit a light event during the season.

Christmas Breakfast

Make a fun Christmas breakfast like cinnamon rolls or reindoor pancakes.

Snowball Fight

Sure, you may be in the south where you get no snow, but if you do have snow, get out and have some fun with it! For the rest of us, well, we just have to settle for fake snowballs.

Hot Cocoa Bar

Nothing says winter like hot cocoa. Dress it up really nice with marshmallows, cream, or peppermints. Substitute with Apple cider if cocoa isn’t your thing.

Wear an Ugly Christmas Sweater

These days you can buy ugly Christmas sweaters (which most of the time are actually pretty cute), but I always think it’s lots of fun to make your own.

BLOGMAS 2O19 | DAY 2 | HOW TO HAVE A STRESS FREE CHRISTMAS

Sure, you love the holiday season--but just not so much of it! This year, you're hoping to cut the crazy out of Christmas: to trim the celebration back to one that is sustainable and calm.

Question is, just how do you do less--and enjoy it more--during the Christmas holiday season?

If you're aiming to simplify Christmas, take time to ponder ways to cut stress, save money and tame over-the-top traditions. Setting simplicity strategies in place early will keep you from being swept up in holiday madness.

Get armed! Try these ten simple strategies to calm holiday chaos and rein in the seasonal overkill this year.

10 Simplicity Strategies

Prune the to-do list. Ask, “If I don’t do this, what will happen?” Aim to knock down the list of chores to the rock-bottom necessity.

Cut the gift list. Rein in gift exchanges that have been outgrown or lost their meaning. Limit gifts to children only, draw names, or organize a gift exchange.

Wrap as you go. Who needs to spend Christmas Eve catching up on wrapping chores? Sticky notes will help you keep track of gift contents.

Buy, don’t bake. Turn your back on the oven this year. Supermarkets, bakeries and the freezer department of the discount warehouse are a great source for delicious, pre-baked holiday treats.

Call, don’t send cards. Reach out and touch someone … the easy way. Online greeting cards are easy, inexpensive and fun to send. No more lines at the post office!

Scale back décor. Substitute a simple door wreath for outdoor lighting, a tabletop tree for the over-the-top tannenbaum. Focusing holiday decor on the Big Three--front door, tree and focal point--can bring a festive feel to the house without day-long decorating sessions.

Cancel the clean-a-thon. Focus cleaning attention on kitchen and public rooms; private areas can slide til season’s end. Better to schedule deep-cleaning chores like carpet cleaning until after the wear-and-tear of the holiday season.

Downsize dishwashing. Hand-washing fine china is nobody’s idea of a good time, so move to everyday stoneware. Simpler still: paper plates!

Finger food, not feast. A smorgasboard of tasty tidbits is easier on the cook and kinder to the waistline than a sit-down dinner. Share the work by hosting pot-luck events.

Stay home! Cuddling down close to the hearth beats holiday travel any day. A holiday "stay-cation" allows for evening drives to see the lights, family camp-outs in front of the Christmas tree, and evenings spent with carols and popcorn. Fun!

BLOGMAS 2019 | DAY 1 | CHRISTMAS BUCKET LIST

Thanksgiving is officially over, so you know what that means?  Christmas mania!  This is such a fun and special time of year, and sometimes a little busy and stressful.  I put together a bucket list of things I want my family and I to do this holiday season.  I don’t want to forget to take time and enjoy the little things that make the holiday so memorable.

Here is my list:

• Decorate the tree
• Mail a letter to Santa
• Decorate a Ginger Bread house
• Go sledding
• Read a Christmas book before bed
• Sip on hot chocolate
• Watch a Christmas movie curled up under a blanket
• Drive around and look at Christmas lights
• Sit on Santa’s lap
• Watch “Elf”
• Bake and decorate cookies
• Give a gift to someone in need
• Send Holiday cards to friends and family
• Make a snowman
• Watch “Home Alone”
• Wrap Christmas gifts
• Deliver gifts to friends and neighbors
• Cuddle by the fire
• Make cinnamon rolls and stay in PJ’s all day
• Decide on a New Year’s resolution
• Watch “The Polar Express”
• Light a scented Christmas candle
• Start a new family tradition
• Play a board game
• Go for a winter walk
• Do a Random Act of Kindness
• Wear matching pajamas on Christmas morning
• Make a Christmas craft
• Kiss under the mistletoe
• Read a new book by the fire
• Donate money to the Salvation Army bell ringing
• Attend a local Holiday event

Go Christmas shopping with a family member or friend
(If you like it, pin it!)

Do you have any special holiday traditions you do every year?

Blogmas 2019

Here is my ~tentative~ schedule for my Blogmas 2019 posts!

1. My Christmas Bucket List
2. How to have a stress free Christmas
3. My Winter Bucket List
4. My Christmas Decor
5. Christmas DIY
6. How I celebrate Christmas
7. My most anticipated 2020 releases
8. What the new year will bring me
9. My favorite Christmas songs
10. Guest post:
11. My favorite Christmas movies
12. My bookish merchandise
13. Bookish Christmas Gifts
14. Guest post:
15. Christmas recipes
16. Favorite Christmas drinks
17. Holiday outfits
18. Sparkly holiday make up looks
19. Let’s go ice skating!
20. Christmas book tag (TBD)
21. Our ugly Christmas sweater party
22. Christmas traditions from the Netherlands
23. Books I’d love to find under the Christmas tree
24. How to have a stress free Christmas
25. Merry Christmas! A day in the life of… me!

Our First FaceTime Date

So you probably know I'm a bit shy and nervous when seeing someone for the first time. I mean their is a lot that goes through my head, "What if he doesn't like me anymore?" or "What if he isn't attracted to me anymore?" It gets worse from there. But this time I was also excited because I really liked this guy. His name is Calvin and to  me, he is the cutest guy ever!

He lives about two hours away from me. To some this may not be what they would consider as a long distance relationship. A long-distance relationship or long-distance romantic relationship is an intimate relationship between partners who are geographically separated from one another. Partners in LDRs face geographic separation and lack of face-to-face contact.

"Couples who live in a long-distance relationship should always remember that the situation is usually just temporary," says Schweyer. "It's important to create future plans and set up important milestones that are worth working for—for example, a move to the same city or apartment."

Our date

For our date we mostly just talked about what we want for the future, kids, etc. We didn't stay on the phone very long, that way he could get sleep because he worked the next day. A few of the ideas and things we did, I found on BestLife.

Hello? Allow me to introduce myself...

It's time for a reacquaintance.  I haven't introduced myself for some time  on this blog and the masterminds of blogger tell me I've got some new friends around here.  I could pretend like I  don't notice, but I've never been one for being discreet.  So WELCOME new friends.

THINGS YOU SHOULD KNOW ABOUT NICHOLE

1.  I started using my birth name, Nichole, after I graduated high school, because my professors always called me by that name. I got tired of having to tell them at the beginning of the semester I prefered Nicki, it just stuck better as Nichole.

2.  When I was in fifth grade, i was taking karate and I was sitting too close to the teacher, who was showing us a kick and knocked my tooth out. It was hanging by a string. But all in all, I'm glad she did because it was actually loose.

3.  I'm working hard on a goal I made a little while ago to make people feel good about themselves.  Sometimes it's easy. Sometimes it's hard. Mostly it's hard when the people I am dealing with are idiots.

4.  I suck at: texting back, calling back, and emailing back. I usually have it on vibrate so sometimes I actually don't hear it. I'd rather have someone text me than call me. I never leave my phone, if it's not beside me I will actually freak out.

5.  Below you will see the picture of the guy I am dating.  His name is Calvin. I don't always call him that. From here on out we refer to him by his nickname "My Love". We met on a dating site and completely hit it off! Our love story doesn't end there, He told me I was the sweetest girl he has ever met. I told him to come up and make me dinner with his shirt off.

6.  For a living I am a blogger.

7.  Just kidding about number six.  I'm a journalist. I love writing and being in a wheelchair my options are already pretty limited. I really want to someday own my own media company, like have my own newspaper or magazine.

8. I live with my grandparents. they pretty much adopted me, even though legally they just had guardianship over me. I took their name, and they raised me since I was 18 months old. I never knew they were not really my birth parents until I was 16. But it didn't matter to me of those circumstances because I have always know them to be mom and dad.

9.  I was born into a family of two kids. But being raised by my grandparents I was the only younger child. This means I never had to fight for attention and was spoiled a lot. I can still put on a show. One of my favorite things to do as a kid was to always tell acquaintances and friends not smart enough to know better that it was my birthday and soak in the attention all day long. I'm messed up. I know.

10.  I can be bossy.

11.  I actually don't have my license. Meaning I'm always asked "why not?" well because I haven't yet learned hand controls and/or don't have a wheelchair accessible vehicle. However I have ATVs and off road vehicles I drive still.

12.   The best part of my day is the hour at night before I have to go to bed and I cuddle up with James and watch TV and giggle and flirt and drift off to sleep.

14.  The worst part of my day is 5:40 am when my alarm clock rings.  If I had known as a college student that I would be waking up at 5:40 am when I had a full time job you better believe I never even would have considered graduating.

How to Get Ready for Christmas Early

Are you ready for Christmas yet? I love Christmas and am one of those people who plans for Christmas all year long. Every Christmas, I realize I need to be more intentional with my planning than ever before because getting ready for Christmas as a mom with little ones is a big challenge! We want to make Christmas special and enjoy the season with them. The more things we do to get ready for Christmas early, the more we can simply enjoy Christmas when it is here.

I started thinking through all the things I normally do to get ready for Christmas and realized there are quite a few things I could now to get ready for Christmas early. The sooner you start organizing yourself for Christmas, the smoother the month of December passes. Isn’t that what we all want? We all want to be able to enjoy Christmas with our families. Let’s make that our goal by crossing a couple things off our to-do lists now.

This to do list will work if you start planning in July – or in November. Either way, it is never too early to start planning ahead for Christmas! 

This post may contain affiliate links. You can read more in my disclosure policy.

Here are a couple ways to get ready for Christmas early.

1. Make your Christmas shopping list now.

Let’s start simple. Sit down and write your list of the people for whom you want to buy presents. Now, be realistic. What is your budget for gifts? Do you really need to buy presents for everyone on your list? Take some time to really think through your list. Include everyone you have thought of and decide if you are buying or making a gift for them.

2. Look through your gift closet and discover what Christmas gifts you have already bought.

If you’re like me, you shop year round for good deals that your family would enjoy. Look through the closet where you have stashed all those gifts and rediscover what you already have on hand – and for whom. Maybe you’ll be pleasantly surprised that you are already finished shopping for one or two people on your list. If you haven’t started shopping yet, there’s no better time to start than now! (And next January, you can start really early by shopping year round too!)

3. Email / call / text your family and ask for gift ideas.

Whether you have started shopping or not, it’s time to start getting ideas. Send out a quick email asking for gift ideas or suggestions. Don’t wait until the second week of December to do this! Do it now because the Christmas sales start earlier every year. Once you have some ideas, start looking! I’m a big fan of Amazon shopping and watch the deals closely in the weeks leading up to Christmas.

4. Buy Christmas stamps.

It’s a little thing but think how nice it will be to avoid the post office when it starts getting really busy! Buy stamps for your Christmas letter or just to send those couple Christmas cards.

Either way, buy the stamps now and cross that off your list. Bonus points if you go ahead and get your Christmas cards ready for the mail early, too! If you are taking pictures for Christmas cards, consider doing that in October or early November so it is done in plenty of time for mailing.

5. Look at your December calendar and start filling in dates.

This is a big one because December can get busy very quickly! I know we already have at least one party on our calendar. This year, I got smart and scheduled our annual Christmas piano recital back in October so all the parents could put it on their calendar early. We are all glad we did! You might decide to print off a simple December calendar and put it on your fridge so everyone can reference it. If you use a digital calendar, make sure you keep it updated. Don’t forget to schedule any special family events (like driving around to look at the lights) if you really want to make it happen.

6. Double one or two of your meals and freeze them for those busy December evenings.

I’m a big believer in using your freezer to your advantage and the holidays are a time when it can really come in handy. There will be those busy nights (even with filling in your calendar early) where there won’t be much time to put dinner on the table. If you have a meal in the freezer or cooking in the crock pot, you’ll have one less thing to worry about – which is always good! (If you’re looking for a good one, this 5 ingredient Mexican chicken is one of my favorite crock pot recipes.)

7. Bake a batch of Christmas cookies and put them in the freezer.

Let’s make our last item a fun one! Go ahead and start your Christmas baking now. Did you know that most Christmas cookies will freeze wonderfully? I know this because my freezer is one of my best time saving friends. Make a list of the Christmas treats you like to make each year and bake one of this weekend. Bonus points (again) if it is one of your more time-consuming recipes now.

If you want to free up even more time in December, make a plan to bake one new Christmas cookie each week from now until Christmas and store them in the freezer. I tend to make at least 3 or 4 batches of buckeyes over the Christmas season so those are on my freezer list already this month.

If you are looking for more practical ideas to help you get ready for Christmas, I highly recommend Kathi Lipp’s new book, Get Yourself Organized for Christmas: Simple Steps to Enjoying the Season. Kathi includes 21 tasks that you can accomplish (one a day) to get you ready for the Christmas season – well ahead of time! I think November or even late October is the perfect time to read this book and get organized.

We all want to enjoy Christmas so let’s do it by crossing a couple things off our list now so we can slow down and enjoy the season!

I Believe in God

Sometimes I find it quite interesting when people say that they are offended. It seems to be a quite the popular phrase now days. I do believe that there are things that are legit & then there are things that are not.

Every day we hear people say that they do not believe in God. That is fine, that is everyone’s choice to believe or not. As a Christian I am not offended when people say that they do not believe. I may feel other emotions but certainly not offended. So why is it that when a Christian says that they are Christian or talk anything about God… everyone gets offended?!? It seems to me that society has a double standard when it comes to freedom of religion. Someone can NOT believe in God & that is all fine and dandy. But OMGsh if someone says they are a Christian and even worse talks about that guy named God… everyone gets their panties in a bunch!

The whole “offended” things pretty much goes along with anything in society. And you know what I have found if I do not agree with things that other people believe then they are offended & I am a “bigot”. I honestly cannot tell you how much the word “bigot” frustrates me. It’s like this:

Me: “I do not agree with that.”

Someone else: “Well you are a stupid, inconsiderate, bigot!”

Me: “How does saying that you do not agree with something qualify as being a bigot?”

Someone else: “You are the most ridiculous person I have ever met & it’s people like you that…”

Get my point?! I have actually had several conversations like that. Conversations where I have simply tried to explain why I do not agree with something, the other person blowing up & wait for it… I get called a bigot.

So let’s just post the definition before it pops up in my comments as someone trying to throw it in my face. So here it is in all it’s glory… the definition of bigotry.

Bigotry is the state of mind of a bigot: someone who, as a result of their prejudices, treats other people with fear, distrust, hatred, contempt, or intolerance on the basis of a person’s ethnicity, religion, national origin, gender, sexual orientation, disability, socioeconomic status, or other characteristics.

So let’s get back to being offended. Sorry I kind of went off on a rabbit trail. I think that people use it correctly, I just think that people get their feathers ruffled to easily now days. What ever happened to letting it roll off your back? Brush it off & move on. Or as a quote that I think Dr. Suess gets too much credit for goes…

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.”
― Bernard M. Baruch

I really think people need to lighten up & learn to brush things off. Stand your ground for what you believe in & if someone doesn’t agree then that is OK. Not everyone has to agree on everything & that is why this world is so interesting(for lack of a better word).

Let’s stop calling a foul on any & every little thing. Life is too short to let everything get to you!

SO you are wondering where in the world this post came from, well I was told to leave my personal beliefs off my farm page. Stick to farming & leave God out of it. So here is my response to that regarding my Facebook page.

If you do not like what you see, you can do one of two things. Close your eyes or simply go to another page. It really isn’t that hard. I promise, I actually do it quite often.

There are three things that I am passionate about. God, my family & our lifestyle. If you do not like those things then my page is not the page for you. So I bid you farewell as you hit the “unlike” button & find a page more suitable for your “likes”.

With that said, a song by Aaron Tippin came to mind. You might have heard of it.

“You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything

You’ve got to be your own man not a puppet on a string

Never compromise what’s right and uphold your family name

You’ve got to stand for something or you’ll fall for anything”

I for one am a person”

With all that said, I will continue to post about God, my family & our farm. I thank everyone that has supported us along the way & give God full credit for the life we have been given. Here is a blog I wrote on the secret to our success as dairy farmers!

Have a great day everyone!

Long Distance Taught Me

I haven’t heard of anyone who got into a long distance relationship because they wanted to. Usually, people are in a complete denial … until they suddenly find themselves in love and their feelings turn out to be bigger than the distance – and that’s when they join the long distance relationship community 🙂

During the time I spent being countries away from my boyfriend, I was not able (or did not want) to relate to any benefits this experience was affording. To be honest, the only outcome I thought I was getting was frustration…

Today, two years after closing the distance, I know that relationship over countries helped me to mature and understand my priorities. It also encouraged me to work towards my goals without losing focus (and finally, rewarded me with the most amazing guy!).

Things a long distance relationship taught me:

1. That communication is a must.

Looking back, I think that my communication skills where pathetic! I didn’t think that analyzing problems was needed. I believed that I would forget the issue and it would pass unnoticed. The result (obviously) was quite different.

First, the problem never passed unnoticed and that was already a good reason for an argument. Moreover, I was slowly bottling up all the problems and preparing for an explosion.

When living hundreds (or thousands) of miles away, communication is the only activity you can have with your partner. You will bond by having deep talks (or solving misunderstandings and arguments), and once you close the distance, you will be amazed how easy it will be to overcome any issue.

2. To trust.

We all have moments of jealousy from time to time, but if you are in a long distance relationship, you will have to start trusting them unconditionally because there is no way for you to control (or even know) their actions. If you aren’t able to trust, your relationship is doomed. Trust is the main condition, not only for your relationship to grow, but also for both of you – remain calm and continue building a strong foundation for your relationship.

3. To be interdependent.

A good friend of mine once explained her theory of some people being “halfs”, and some “fulls” in a relationship. “Halfs” are the codependent couples, who try to control their partner’s feelings and have a fear that they can’t function on their own (and hence, feel “stuck” in their relationship). Unfortunately, long distance relationship is not going to last long if you and your partner is a codependent “half”.

You will have to learn to be interdependent. You will miss each other, but, at the same time respect, support each other’s goals and push each other forward. Be committed to the relationship but don’t try to control another person’s feelings or actions.

 I used to think that I was a “half” type, but time apart helped me develop into a strong, independent “full”. There is nothing else I want when my babe is next to me, but my self-esteem doesn’t depend on his presence. This long distance relationship helped me learn to enjoy my life when he was not there.

4. To appreciate the time together (and continue doing so even after closing the distance).

When you live with someone, hugs, sleeping together, even doing grocery shopping is just a normal part of your routine. Meanwhile, a relationship over distance only allows you to have occasional hugs with your partner as a reward after months of waiting. I still feel that I value those small, daily things I get to do with my boyfriend and always thank god for having my partner next to me whenever I want to. Because few years back, I used to be ready to do anything for getting to feel my boyfriend’s smell…

5. Do things together.

I see many friends of mine separating the household tasks and doing them individually. Even those long Skype sessions of cooking or cleaning together on the weekends turned out to benefit us. We got used to doing things together and enjoy it. Washing dishes in one sink together is not very comfortable, but who said it’s not fun?

6. To become a proactive planner!

We had to plan our yearly holiday schedules to be sure that we would meet often enough and wouldn’t have problems taking leave. Additionally, we had to look into our finances to be sure that we would be able to afford the times we intended to meet. Finally, we had to plan our daily agendas so we could get on a call at least once or twice a week, manage the time difference, and remain socially active.

7. To save.

I couldn’t afford anything more than the basics while living apart and I have to say that it was the first time in my life I became so efficient at saving. Even though our long distance relationship resulted in no financial assets, we got something much more valuable in exchange – a chance to spend our lives together.

8. To be patient.

Imagine wanting something more than anything and getting to touch it shortly once in few months. Then, finding yourself crying in the airport after saying bye and desperately craving for more. We had many days when we questioned ourselves. Why did we decide to do this? At times it seemed to be getting too complicated to continue. Thankfully, something stopped us from giving up. You will know that the person is worth the struggle. The possible reward will give you all the motivation you need to make it through.

9. To know what you want.

Usually, life offers you multiple options and you are welcome to take any of them (and make changes whenever you feel like it). When you ask yourself about staying in a relationship over a distance or moving in together, you are forced to understand your priorities by answering these questions: can I leave everything behind and go to other side of the country/world for sake of being together with my partner? It seems to be a complicated one, but it was the easiest decision I ever made. I just knew my priority from the very beginning.

10. To stay positive.

We became our own love warriors. There were ups and downs, but we were there to support each other and share optimism. There were people telling us that it’s not worth it and it’s not going to work (just as everyone does BEFORE they get into a LDR – remember!), but I always had my boyfriend to lift me up when I needed it the most (and vice versa).

11. To become selfless.

Even though I believe we start thinking about another person more when we love someone (even without distance), being apart makes you completely forget your own needs. The other person’s happiness is what you need to stay happy yourself.

12.To get rid of fears and doubt less.

I learnt that everything is possible, as long as you really want it. The fears I used to have before were only excuses to give up my goals (which, most probably, weren’t strong enough). But then, I met a Turkish boy in south of India. He had to move to China and my family was expecting me to go back to Lithuania. We had some doubts in between, but in the end we said, “Yes, we will be together.” I am now sure of my capabilities because I know that I will succeed in anything (if only I want it).

Here’s How to Stay on Top of Your Assignments

College. You think you have pretty much everything together. You're really excited for class to start, thinking you'll love the classes you chose, all my assignments are in order, and everything’s going well. Then the next minute I have five papers due, three tests to study for, and seven blog posts to write all in one week. Ok yes that may be a bit exaggerated, but that’s what it feels like. And I know I’m probably not alone.

College can be a huge learning curve for some people. It’s the first time you really have your whole life in your hands. And if you’re not careful, things can get out of hand (ha see what I did there?) really fast. But, fear not! It can be easy to stay on top of your assignments! All it takes is a bit of planning and not procrastinating to make sure you never miss an assignment again. Today I’m sharing with you the ways that I make sure I never miss an assignment.

Treat weekdays like a 9-5 job

Done with class at 1pm and head back to your dorm/apartment/house and go straight to watching Netflix? Bad idea. I make sure that I’m up by 8am every day and I try to work on only school and blogging stuff until around 5pm.

Instead of treating Netflix as something to fill my time during the day, I use it as a treat before bed (gasp! I know that’s really bad for you, but I live on the edge). If I’ve done all of my homework for the day and gotten some blogging stuff done, then congratulations Nichole, you’ve earned yourself an episode or two of Jane the Virgin.

Have calendars and planners everywhere

I have two calendars above my desk, two planners (one for school and one for blogging), and multiple online calendars set up to help me keep track of my life. Y’all if I don’t have it written down in multiple places, I will forget to do the assignment, show up to class, or show up to an important meeting. 

For online calendars, I love love love Google Calendars. It easily syncs to my phone and macBook, and I can create multiple calendars, such as school, life, and work, all on one account.

As for physical planners, I love my Rifle Paper Co Monthly & Weekly 17 Month planner and any Blue Sky planner from Target.

Set personal due dates

I almost never miss an assignment or due date simply because I set personal due dates for all of my assignments. If there’s an assignment due this upcoming Thursday, I’ll have it 95% complete by the prior Tuesday. It gives me extra time to look over my work, catch any mistakes, and keep from stressing.

Give yourself a due date of two or three days before an assignment is actually due. And if you’re prone to procrastination, you’ll have plenty of time to complete the work!

Take quality notes

Developing a note-taking system was the best thing I ever did my freshman year. Not only do I learn the material even more when I’m rewriting my notes, I’m not frantically flipping through piles of unorganized notes to try to find the one piece of information I need.

This could be anything from taking notes in class and the rewriting them later, taking notes from the lecture slides, or taking notes directly from the textbook.

Grab your favorite set(s) of pens, you favorite notebook, and get to writing. And yes, writing. Not typing. Think typing those notes will help you? Writing with pen and paper is proven to help you remember information.

Need some note taking inspiration? Studyblrs on Tumblr are my life, and they should be your’s as well.

Now, it’s time to slap that procrastination out of your system and hit the books! Treat the week as an opportunity to grow and learn and don’t spend it counting down the days ’till the weekend. Good luck!

What are some of your best ways to stay on top of your assignments?

The Life of... Nichole - Part II

Picking up from yesterday…

My side-job

After being asked out on a date, I started this blog. I decided to use it  to keep family updated but then it turned into a way to help other significant others and spouses alike on their journey into and throughout the military world. I knew no matter where in the world I went this blog would follow and I could talk about life and the journey it is taking me on. As it would seem in Atlanta, I have yet (in the six months that I have been here) found a job as a Journalist, so I chose to become a full-time blogger instead and have been staying at home and hanging out with friends and I'm loving every minute of it.

our 2 bedroom home

Backing up a little, after we moved into our new home in Atlanta and gotten married. I found a temp job writing for a company about agriculture, I worked here for 6 months writing and being a social media manager until I realized it wasn't a good fit. It was a nice company, but I wasn’t very happy working there and needed to find something else.

That was when I began blogging full-time on a regular basis. I am still with Blogspot, I love that it is a free platform but I can use my own domain. I am in the middle of getting a blog makeover also from a amazing woman, Rissa. Although, I have NO background or training in blogging, it is something I love doing. And I'm sure I always will! I named it A Semper Fi Life (notice how it's a Marine related name, yet?), But I've expanded from just talking about the military to include college and travel related categories.

It’s a far cry from working a big magazine or newspaper, but for me everything worked out better than I could have imagined. Plus I get to wear sweatpants to work if I want! ;) So if you ever need some freelance work or blog post work, I’m your go-to-person!

The Life of... Nichole - Part I

So I figured I need to do a post about me! I know you’re all just dying to know my deepest, darkest secrets! :) I’m going to call these “The Story of…” because I know I’ll eventually have lots of stories to tell!

I grew up in the capital of Illinois better known as Springfield. I went to a small south side grade school, which eventually led to move into the New Berlin school district. I started at Loami Middle School when I was in 6th grade, I finished high school at New Berlin Jr/Sr High School in 2014. In high school, I was in a variety of clubs, Key Club and Art Club mostly. Throughout my younger years I was in Dance until i was 11, then I took karate until I was 14. I first met Calvin in college, but more on him another day. :) After I graduated high school, I went to Lincoln Land Community College. At LLCC I studied Journalism and Elementary Education. I even joined the college newspaper, The Lamp where I made some amazing friends. In high school, I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted this because I loved having the ability to ask people questions then be able to write an article about that topic. I was dead set on be a magazine editor, so Journalism was one of my majors.

My high school graduation

In college, I never really got a job or at least in a workplace building. I always had random jobs through the internet and writing for companies (freelance writing).My second semester I had gotten a student-worker job at our child development center, this job made me want to become a teacher for Elementary leveled students. So I chose to have a double major in Elementary Education. This helped me decide if I ever needed I could have another job in Journalism if I ever needed to.

During my third year of college, I transferred to an online university to travel with my new husband. Calvin decide to re-enlist into the Marine Corps for another 8 years. After we were married we moved to Atlanta. I had just started my Elementary classes this semester, but I had two years of Journalism courses already in the bag. PLUS I had my associates degree. Although, I  quickly found out that doesn't get you very far. So, here I was finishing both degrees in Atlanta thinking about being a freelancer as I was in school, just to bring in a  little extra money and I did. The plan was to finish getting my bachelor's in both areas, but I also didn't think of how much money it cost to finish online. So I finished getting my bachelor's degree in Journalism and chose to wait a year on finishing my degree in Elementary Education. It felt devastating to wait such a long period of time to finish my degree because I felt like I was failing at life. I just never realized my dreams were just changing.

I’ll end this here and finish up tomorrow!

Did you ever have a dream job? Are you working at it now?

OPSEC: What It Is and What You Should Know

“OPSEC (operational security) is an analytical process that classifies information assets and determines the controls required to protect these assets. OPSEC originated as a military term that described strategies to prevent potential adversaries from discovering critical operations-related data. As information management and protection has become important to success in the private sector, OPSEC processes are now common in business operations.” TechTarget Network

I always think of OPSEC as protecting US operations those of which are planned, in progress, and are completed.  OPSEC is keeping potential adversaries from discovering critical information about the Department of Defense.

The military needs to accomplish the mission quickly and successfully. Success relies on secrecy, surprise, and private information. Enemies want this critical information, and they are not just after the military member to get it. They also look to military families and friends.

Here are some general rules and guidelines to follow for military family members and friends.

RULES OF OPSEC.

1. Do not post detailed information about the mission of assigned units.
2. Do not post details on locations and times of unit deployments.
3. Do not list your spouse’s specific job on social media.
4. Do not post where your spouse is ported.
5. Do not post about personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: pay information, powers of attorney, wills, deployment information).
6. Do not post details on locations and times of unit trainings
7. Do not post unit/service member itineraries
8. Do not post references to trends in unit morale or personnel problems.
9. Do not post details concerning security procedures, response time, tactics.
10. Do not post details Personal Identifying Information (PII)
11. Do not post exact redeployment dates
12. Do not reveal camp locations, including nearby cities. After the deployment is officially announced by Military officials, you may discuss locations that have been released, normally on the Country level.
13. Do not discuss convoy routes (“we travelled through ‘such-and-such’ on our way to X”)
14. Do not discuss equipment or lack thereof, to include training equipment
15. Avoid the use of count-up or count-down tickers for the same reason as rule #1, if you do decide to use one, make sure only YOU and those you trust are able to see it.
16. Be very careful if posting pictures of your loved one. Avoid images that show significant landmarks near their base of operations, and black out last names and unit affiliations.
17. Do not, EVER, post information about casualties (coalition or enemy) before the official release of the information.
18. Do not pass on rumors (“I heard they’re coming home early”, etc)

SOCIAL MEDIA

You may want to limit your posts to friends-only. Defaults can change on Facebook with no real notice, and suddenly you’re posting to the Public. If your FRG has a facebook group, ask the leader if it’s secret, closed, or public. What you post to a group may appear on other people’s timelines as well.

Photos

If you must post photos, consider cropping or blurring some details on pictures.

Geotagging

Make sure your location services setting is turned off, if you don’t want your or your spouse to be reporting where their location is.

Social media is not going away any time soon. More and more issues arise with social media and consequences hit much harder and much faster (with consequently less time to “undo” a mistake).

These OPSEC rules aren’t meant to limit your free speech or restrict your liberties- that’s exactly what our men and women in uniform fight to protect. They are put into place to help ensure the safety and security of our nation’s military.

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY SERIES (The Girlfriend Perspective)

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

When I first got together with my best friend (now boyfriend) he was a Marine in the US Marine Corps, "I had no idea what that would mean for me. I had no idea what military life was like, and knew nothing about the military in general. Since, I knew this was going to be my new life, I wanted to find out as much as I could about it."

I've heard a lot on the military wife perspective, including so many wives having blogs. What about us "girlfriends"? How do we fit and what about how a girlfriend feels know her boyfriend just entered the military or already is in the military. That is why I decided to make a new series on the girlfriend perspective: "Young and in the Military"where I discuss the different aspects of getting involved as new military girlfriends and family. I found the original post and I decided that since Kathryn's post discussed getting started as a military wife, that I would talk about getting started as a military girlfriend.

Here is the series, enjoy!

• Young and in the Military: Getting Started
• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): GIRLFRIEND BASICS

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

If you have kept up with my “young in the military” series, then you might have remembered the first three parts:

• Young and in the Military: Starting Out
• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends

Now I am adding this last post to the series about basic things I think girlfriends should know. I do not claim to be an expert in any of the topics I talk about in these posts, but I do talk about things that have helped me along the way, and I hope they are helpful to you!

Girlfriend Basics:

These are in no way inclusive, and I would love to hear your input about what you would tell future girlfriends!

1. The Dreaded "D"  Word...

Deployments are NOT the End of the World! My boyfriend is currently Deployed to Europe. I won't go into detail due to OPSEC (Operation Security). I am also a sophomore in college. I am definitely scared but as time goes on I adjust. It is okay to feel sad but make sure you don't cut yourself off from the rest of the world just because they are gone. Get a job, go to school, write letters, make care packages, etc. etc. etc.....Just stay busy. Our relationship grew so much more than I ever thought in the ten months we were apart.

2. Communication

Every situation I know is different. With my boyfriend being deployed we are unable to talk every day, this IS something being with a military man I had to get used too and understand. Whether or not your SO is deployed, in basic training, or on base most military members are not always on there phones or able to reply right away. Every military job is demanding and can be stressful.

3. Educate Yourself.

Always learn about military life now instead of in the future. It's important to learn now so you can say you know a little bit about military life. "Learning things like rank, etiquette for military functions, etc. will help immensely when you visit your significant other or meet their work friends and higher ups."

4. Keep Busy!

I was never a person who liked doing nothing all day long. It's okay to think about and miss your SO, just not every day, all day. Keeping yourself busy can make time and days go by so much quicker. I am in college and almost immediately I got a job working the time away while my boyfriend is gone. I am still having good and bad times, days where I cry all day. Then I started doing more. Volunteer, work out, go to church, travel....the ideas are endless!

5. A Little Love Goes a Long Way

"Since long distance relationships can make it difficult to communicate. Even a simple text that they may not receive until hours later can go a long way. Love doesn't always have to be some grand gesture."

6. Supportive Clothing

Most girlfriends LOVE supporting her man, I know I do. I will say you don't have to wear certain things because others do. It's you body wear what you want, whenever you feel like it.

7. Travel!

Saving your money IS worth it, trust me! "Saving money to go visit your SO is 1000% worth it if you can make it work. I didn't think I would visit half of the places I would visit in the last few years. It almost makes the distance worthwhile.....almost."

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): MAKING FRIENDS

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

I have honestly been wanting to write a post about making friends who are also in the military as a  girlfriend myself. How do you make friends, either civilian or military? This is definitely a post everyone can learn from civilian or military. I want a post like this to be able to help both people, but especially military girlfriends, because (hopefully becoming a wife) they PCS so much.

I recently started a support group on Facebook for girlfriends to wives who are looking for friends or networking throughout Illinois. I am growing it (or trying to) through my blog. Hopefully I will be expanding to other places for growth. One of the things I love hearing a support groups is that it is a safe place to share your feelings with everyone in the group and that it is not ever discussed outside of the group. This always surprises me, and I hope that these tips can help other girlfriends who feel the same way.

Making Friends:

"I have found that the key to making friends is that you have to be a friend first. Even if you are the newbie and have no idea what you may be doing, sometimes you have to take the first step! I know some ladies are shy, and let me tell you I used to be one of the shyest girls, but when I went to college I had to get past it and learn to make friends. That has helped me a lot and prepared me for military life. Sometimes I still find it hard to take that first step, but every time I have, I have found it so worth it!"

1. Join a Support Group

I think I have mentioned this in every part of the “Young and in the Military” series so far, but it is so important, and a big help! Look online for military girlfriend support groups. A lot of times once you join you will find other ladies like you who are also looking for support through the military life.

2. Volunteer

Here in Springfield, Illinois we have the reserves and the national guard pretty close. So volunteering at the local shops or with any volunteer opportunity to get close to other soldiers or their base is a great way to learn about military life. Plus I wanted something to do and I knew volunteering would be something that would be helpful and keep me busy. I went to the Family Readiness Center (online) and found out what areas on the base needed volunteers. I ended up volunteering at the Center itself, making pillow cases for children with deployed parents, and doing other odds and ends jobs.

3. Join a Girlfriends Group on Facebook

I know I have mentioned this before in other parts of this series, but this is one thing that has been a big help to me. The group gets together every once in a while and goes out to eat or meets for ice cream or something. It’s a great way to meet friends and it is how I met almost every single one of my friends here. You can also post on the group that you are looking for a work-out buddy a walking buddy, or even just a play date with the kids. A friend of mine posted about working out and we met at the local gym (before my wheelchair) to work out several times a week, and now that we have gotten to know each other we are great friends! Usually there will always be someone else who has the same interests as you, so why not speak up!

To read the rest of this series, click here:

• Young and in the Military: Getting Started
• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): GETTING SETTLED

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

Starting out:

When I first got together with my best friend (now boyfriend) he was a Marine in the US Marine Corps, "I had no idea what that would mean for me. I had no idea what military life was like, and knew nothing about the military in general. Since, I knew this was going to be my new life, I wanted to find out as much as I could about it." Here are a few things that I did and that I recommend to get started:

1. What it means for the girlfriend

As a girlfriend we are not able to do or get certains things a spouse can. But don't let that intimidate you because being a girlfriend is just as important as being a wife. Meaning girlfriends are unable to live on base, have a military I.D, and the SO usually lives in the barracks. I'm not sure how true this is so you may have to look into this, some SO's and their girlfriends can live together OFF post. If this is an option for the base "looking around online at houses in the area where my boyfriend was going to be stationed. We weighed the pros and cons of buying a house and moving into an apartment. Depending on what your situation is, it will be different for each family. If you read the first part of my series Young and in the Military: Getting Started, then you know that I suggested joining a support group or a military girlfriends group in your area or on Facebook. If you have done this, start asking questions of the wives/girlfriends who live in the area you are moving to and find out the best places to live."

2. Being there

My boyfriend right now, is based a few states away from me. So know your significant other may not always be there when important or big events happen. For example anniversaries, birthdays, births, graduations, etc. I realize I may not have my boyfriend physically with me during big events, I can always call, video chat, or text him though. So then I know he is here in spirit. I realize some girlfriends are going through a deployment or their significant other has field training, under these circumstances the rules then change. We have to be ready for these things...

3. Everything can change...

Always be ready for things to change. Not being family means even to write or email your significant other sometimes you have to contact family for this information. Also, know everything can change on a moments notice be sure to cherish EVERY. LITTLE. MOMENT. especially time together. If you have children together be sure to take care of them and yourself, your significant other will most likely never tell you that but you have to always be strong for your family.

To read the rest of this series, click here:

• Young and in the Military: Getting Started
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): GETTING STARTED

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

Starting out:

When I first got together with my best friend (now boyfriend) he was a Marine in the US Marine Corps, "I had no idea what that would mean for me. I had no idea what military life was like, and knew nothing about the military in general. Since, I knew this was going to be my new life, I wanted to find out as much as I could about it." Here are a few things that I did and that I recommend to get started:

1. Join a Support Group

There are even resources for the GIRLFRIEND, you just have to find them. Ask military wives/husbands also most often they are willing to help. Joining a support group even if it is online can help you make friends with other girlfriends even wives/husband whose significant other is in the military. Everyone in these groups are willing to give advice or answer any questions you have either about military life or a specific branch. when your SO deploys, having a support group is very helpful and you can always lean on them in a time of need, and give ideas about care packages and staying busy when your SO is away. "Here are four different support groups online, that are meant to help, encourage, and get you through.

• Christian Military wives
• Wives of Faith
• Faith Deployed
• Military Issued Girlfriends (Also for fiances and wives)

These aren't the only groups online to find, there is so many more on Facebook to look at, I just think these four are really really sites (other wives have recommended) to get you started. I know some bases have FRG's (Family Readiness Groups) but us girlfriend don't get that privledge of using. Although, if you have friends or maybe even military family you can always talk to them. Most likely they will be the ones who have “been there done that” and will be able to help you and answer your questions.

2. Learn more about where you're SO is at

As soon at my boyfriend told me where his base was, I got right online and googled everything I could to find out about it and their city around it. I found the main website for the base, I looked for a website about local activities and things to do, I looked for pictures of the area. I also looked for a girlfriends groups online that were specifically related to that base.

When you learn what base your SO is going to be stationed at, try to find out as much as you can. Google your base name and see what websites it will come up with. Also switch over to pictures and see if you can view pictures of the base or the area.

Another way to find out more about your SO's base. Is to go onto the social networking sites and find a girlfriends groups that are associated with the base. Do a search on:

Facebook
Twitter

What should you search for? When searching on these sites there are a few things you can enter in:

1. Try searching just your SO's base name.
2. Try searching “girlfriends” at “his base name.”
3. Try searching “SO's” at “his base name.”
4. Try searching for girlfriends in your boyfriend’s specific unit or squadron.

I have searched for numerous bases on these sites, and have yet to find any without any significant other groups or groups at all. If you do not come across any on the site of your choice, make one! I found several groups on myspace that were helpful, but because I did not care for Myspace I looked on Facebook.

What kind of questions do you ask when you join a spouses or SO group? When you join one of these groups associated with your base, ask whatever questions you want. Some popular ones are:

• What is the base like?
• What is the surrounding area like?

I’m sure, if you are like me there are tons of other questions you can come up with, but these are just a few to get you started. These groups can be very helpful and are a great way to meet new friends!

To read the rest of the series click here:

• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics

A Day in the Life of a Military (Pre)Wife

As a military girlfriend of any branch it is always difficult because you can't just pick up and leave to go see your SO. Sometimes, you can but usually they have to ask for leave or time off, which they may not always get.

My day usually starts off with texting my boyfriend when I wake up 'Good morning. I hope you have a wonderful day' is the first text I send. He doesn't usually reply most of the day because he is 7 hours ahead of me. I usually send a few texts, selfies, and snaps throughout the day, letting him know I'm thinking about him.

I have classes starting at 10 am every day and get lunch and go to whatever appointments I have throughout the day. He is great with understanding I have homework and class work to study when my day  ends at 3.

After I finish eating and go lay down we talk until well after midnight, some nights we even FaceTime. We talk about our lives, whats happening, and making sure he knows he is loved. Then we get up the next day and do it all over again.

The weekends are different. Because I don't have school, we can talk more at night. The hard part of me is realizing he is in the Eastern Hemisphere so when I'm usually awake he is asleep. So my weekends consist of pjs, the couch, and movies usually. But if I stay up late texting Calvin, I don't usually wake up until late morning/early afternoon.

Whats a day in your life like? Any similarities? Differences?

Deployment Diaries

Life is a struggle, a rollercoaster of emotions during deployment. You have good days, but along with that you also have your bad days.

Having a way to express your feelings is a beneficial way to balance emotions, and to write down exactly what you're going through while keeping everything private. Starting a deployment diary is extremely easy, and very effective.

Creating a deployment diary is not very costly, and doesn't take much energy, or time. This makes everything very perfect, for whatever your daily duties are, a spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, fiance/fiancee.

WHAT IS A DEPLOYMENT DIARY?

It’s simply a notebook you create for yourself to record feelings and events during your spouse’s deployment. The best part is you can use it however you want – maybe you want to record all the memorable little things from your day to share with your spouse, or maybe you want to use it as a personal vent space where you can share your feelings. It’s totally up to you.

WHAT IS HAPPENING DURING HIS DEPLOYMENT?

My boyfriend Calvin, was deployed about a week ago to Germany then Afghanistan in about a month. I'm hoping he is back in at least 2-3 months. We started dating in July of 2017, he went into the Marines at 17.This is his third deployment to Afghanistan, but this will be my second deployment with him, as I am still pretty new to  the Marine Corps life. During his first deployment, Calvin and I were friends, we became pen-pals. Although, he did tell me about his girlfriend and his son back home. While my view maybe different from others I'm still here with him now.

He just got into Germany today, he then goes to Afghanistan in a month.. I'm assuming there getting everyone prepared for it. Before he left I saw him a lot, now it is already feeling like it's been too long. For the most part, everything has gone pretty okay. We are so blessed to live in an age of technology where texting, phone calls, and FaceTime can keep us connected despite the distance. We don’t have to rely on snail mail to give updates — although we do still send the occasional hand-written love letter. Despite the 4,212 miles and 7 hour time difference, we still get to talk every day and for that I am so thankful.

I would also go through any deployment if it meant I get to be in a relationship with Calvin. His love is worth any obstacle…

I do hope however that the next BIG text message he has to send me — is that he is coming home <3

UPDATE:He came home a month later for reasons he didn't explain. I am happy though!

A Girl Willing to Wait an Eternity to be With Her Marine

Never in my life did I think I’d become a Marine girlfriend. I didn’t think I could handle the distance, the long periods of time apart, the having to put your trust in someone thousands of miles away and all the heartache that comes with all of that.

But a couple months ago, I began talking to someone (again) I never thought would find me attractive or want to try being an us. He is the boy version of me and the best parts of me too. However there are qualities (amazing ones at that) I do not have. However, he just so happened to be deployed within a week of re-enlistment after I had met him and I made the conscious decision to stand by him throughout his journey.

After that, I became immersed in everything military. I spent endless hours googling and wondering what to expect and what happens with all of this. Throughout my searching I found this quote: “A military girlfriend is just a wife in waiting. No one would go through this if they weren’t in it for the long haul.”

But as I continued to look on the internet a lot of what I found were blogs and support groups for wives and moms (which don’t get me wrong is great) however if women are that dedicated to their boyfriends to be a military girlfriend then why the hell are there barely any blogs or support groups for them? So, I’ve created this blog for all the military girlfriends who need everything from care package ideas to emotional support and everything in between.