The Life of... Nichole - Part I

So I figured I need to do a post about me! I know you’re all just dying to know my deepest, darkest secrets! :) I’m going to call these “The Story of…” because I know I’ll eventually have lots of stories to tell!

I grew up in the capital of Illinois better known as Springfield. I went to a small south side grade school, which eventually led to move into the New Berlin school district. I started at Loami Middle School when I was in 6th grade, I finished high school at New Berlin Jr/Sr High School in 2014. In high school, I was in a variety of clubs, Key Club and Art Club mostly. Throughout my younger years I was in Dance until i was 11, then I took karate until I was 14. I first met Calvin in college, but more on him another day. :) After I graduated high school, I went to Lincoln Land Community College. At LLCC I studied Journalism and Elementary Education. I even joined the college newspaper, The Lamp where I made some amazing friends. In high school, I wanted to be a journalist. I wanted this because I loved having the ability to ask people questions then be able to write an article about that topic. I was dead set on be a magazine editor, so Journalism was one of my majors.

My high school graduation

In college, I never really got a job or at least in a workplace building. I always had random jobs through the internet and writing for companies (freelance writing).My second semester I had gotten a student-worker job at our child development center, this job made me want to become a teacher for Elementary leveled students. So I chose to have a double major in Elementary Education. This helped me decide if I ever needed I could have another job in Journalism if I ever needed to.

During my third year of college, I transferred to an online university to travel with my new husband. Calvin decide to re-enlist into the Marine Corps for another 8 years. After we were married we moved to Atlanta. I had just started my Elementary classes this semester, but I had two years of Journalism courses already in the bag. PLUS I had my associates degree. Although, I  quickly found out that doesn't get you very far. So, here I was finishing both degrees in Atlanta thinking about being a freelancer as I was in school, just to bring in a  little extra money and I did. The plan was to finish getting my bachelor's in both areas, but I also didn't think of how much money it cost to finish online. So I finished getting my bachelor's degree in Journalism and chose to wait a year on finishing my degree in Elementary Education. It felt devastating to wait such a long period of time to finish my degree because I felt like I was failing at life. I just never realized my dreams were just changing.

I’ll end this here and finish up tomorrow!

Did you ever have a dream job? Are you working at it now?

OPSEC: What It Is and What You Should Know

“OPSEC (operational security) is an analytical process that classifies information assets and determines the controls required to protect these assets. OPSEC originated as a military term that described strategies to prevent potential adversaries from discovering critical operations-related data. As information management and protection has become important to success in the private sector, OPSEC processes are now common in business operations.” TechTarget Network

I always think of OPSEC as protecting US operations those of which are planned, in progress, and are completed.  OPSEC is keeping potential adversaries from discovering critical information about the Department of Defense.

The military needs to accomplish the mission quickly and successfully. Success relies on secrecy, surprise, and private information. Enemies want this critical information, and they are not just after the military member to get it. They also look to military families and friends.

Here are some general rules and guidelines to follow for military family members and friends.

RULES OF OPSEC.

1. Do not post detailed information about the mission of assigned units.
2. Do not post details on locations and times of unit deployments.
3. Do not list your spouse’s specific job on social media.
4. Do not post where your spouse is ported.
5. Do not post about personnel transactions that occur in large numbers (Example: pay information, powers of attorney, wills, deployment information).
6. Do not post details on locations and times of unit trainings
7. Do not post unit/service member itineraries
8. Do not post references to trends in unit morale or personnel problems.
9. Do not post details concerning security procedures, response time, tactics.
10. Do not post details Personal Identifying Information (PII)
11. Do not post exact redeployment dates
12. Do not reveal camp locations, including nearby cities. After the deployment is officially announced by Military officials, you may discuss locations that have been released, normally on the Country level.
13. Do not discuss convoy routes (“we travelled through ‘such-and-such’ on our way to X”)
14. Do not discuss equipment or lack thereof, to include training equipment
15. Avoid the use of count-up or count-down tickers for the same reason as rule #1, if you do decide to use one, make sure only YOU and those you trust are able to see it.
16. Be very careful if posting pictures of your loved one. Avoid images that show significant landmarks near their base of operations, and black out last names and unit affiliations.
17. Do not, EVER, post information about casualties (coalition or enemy) before the official release of the information.
18. Do not pass on rumors (“I heard they’re coming home early”, etc)

SOCIAL MEDIA

You may want to limit your posts to friends-only. Defaults can change on Facebook with no real notice, and suddenly you’re posting to the Public. If your FRG has a facebook group, ask the leader if it’s secret, closed, or public. What you post to a group may appear on other people’s timelines as well.

Photos

If you must post photos, consider cropping or blurring some details on pictures.

Geotagging

Make sure your location services setting is turned off, if you don’t want your or your spouse to be reporting where their location is.

Social media is not going away any time soon. More and more issues arise with social media and consequences hit much harder and much faster (with consequently less time to “undo” a mistake).

These OPSEC rules aren’t meant to limit your free speech or restrict your liberties- that’s exactly what our men and women in uniform fight to protect. They are put into place to help ensure the safety and security of our nation’s military.

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY SERIES (The Girlfriend Perspective)

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

When I first got together with my best friend (now boyfriend) he was a Marine in the US Marine Corps, "I had no idea what that would mean for me. I had no idea what military life was like, and knew nothing about the military in general. Since, I knew this was going to be my new life, I wanted to find out as much as I could about it."

I've heard a lot on the military wife perspective, including so many wives having blogs. What about us "girlfriends"? How do we fit and what about how a girlfriend feels know her boyfriend just entered the military or already is in the military. That is why I decided to make a new series on the girlfriend perspective: "Young and in the Military"where I discuss the different aspects of getting involved as new military girlfriends and family. I found the original post and I decided that since Kathryn's post discussed getting started as a military wife, that I would talk about getting started as a military girlfriend.

Here is the series, enjoy!

• Young and in the Military: Getting Started
• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): GIRLFRIEND BASICS

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

If you have kept up with my “young in the military” series, then you might have remembered the first three parts:

• Young and in the Military: Starting Out
• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends

Now I am adding this last post to the series about basic things I think girlfriends should know. I do not claim to be an expert in any of the topics I talk about in these posts, but I do talk about things that have helped me along the way, and I hope they are helpful to you!

Girlfriend Basics:

These are in no way inclusive, and I would love to hear your input about what you would tell future girlfriends!

1. The Dreaded "D"  Word...

Deployments are NOT the End of the World! My boyfriend is currently Deployed to Europe. I won't go into detail due to OPSEC (Operation Security). I am also a sophomore in college. I am definitely scared but as time goes on I adjust. It is okay to feel sad but make sure you don't cut yourself off from the rest of the world just because they are gone. Get a job, go to school, write letters, make care packages, etc. etc. etc.....Just stay busy. Our relationship grew so much more than I ever thought in the ten months we were apart.

2. Communication

Every situation I know is different. With my boyfriend being deployed we are unable to talk every day, this IS something being with a military man I had to get used too and understand. Whether or not your SO is deployed, in basic training, or on base most military members are not always on there phones or able to reply right away. Every military job is demanding and can be stressful.

3. Educate Yourself.

Always learn about military life now instead of in the future. It's important to learn now so you can say you know a little bit about military life. "Learning things like rank, etiquette for military functions, etc. will help immensely when you visit your significant other or meet their work friends and higher ups."

4. Keep Busy!

I was never a person who liked doing nothing all day long. It's okay to think about and miss your SO, just not every day, all day. Keeping yourself busy can make time and days go by so much quicker. I am in college and almost immediately I got a job working the time away while my boyfriend is gone. I am still having good and bad times, days where I cry all day. Then I started doing more. Volunteer, work out, go to church, travel....the ideas are endless!

5. A Little Love Goes a Long Way

"Since long distance relationships can make it difficult to communicate. Even a simple text that they may not receive until hours later can go a long way. Love doesn't always have to be some grand gesture."

6. Supportive Clothing

Most girlfriends LOVE supporting her man, I know I do. I will say you don't have to wear certain things because others do. It's you body wear what you want, whenever you feel like it.

7. Travel!

Saving your money IS worth it, trust me! "Saving money to go visit your SO is 1000% worth it if you can make it work. I didn't think I would visit half of the places I would visit in the last few years. It almost makes the distance worthwhile.....almost."

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): MAKING FRIENDS

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

I have honestly been wanting to write a post about making friends who are also in the military as a  girlfriend myself. How do you make friends, either civilian or military? This is definitely a post everyone can learn from civilian or military. I want a post like this to be able to help both people, but especially military girlfriends, because (hopefully becoming a wife) they PCS so much.

I recently started a support group on Facebook for girlfriends to wives who are looking for friends or networking throughout Illinois. I am growing it (or trying to) through my blog. Hopefully I will be expanding to other places for growth. One of the things I love hearing a support groups is that it is a safe place to share your feelings with everyone in the group and that it is not ever discussed outside of the group. This always surprises me, and I hope that these tips can help other girlfriends who feel the same way.

Making Friends:

"I have found that the key to making friends is that you have to be a friend first. Even if you are the newbie and have no idea what you may be doing, sometimes you have to take the first step! I know some ladies are shy, and let me tell you I used to be one of the shyest girls, but when I went to college I had to get past it and learn to make friends. That has helped me a lot and prepared me for military life. Sometimes I still find it hard to take that first step, but every time I have, I have found it so worth it!"

1. Join a Support Group

I think I have mentioned this in every part of the “Young and in the Military” series so far, but it is so important, and a big help! Look online for military girlfriend support groups. A lot of times once you join you will find other ladies like you who are also looking for support through the military life.

2. Volunteer

Here in Springfield, Illinois we have the reserves and the national guard pretty close. So volunteering at the local shops or with any volunteer opportunity to get close to other soldiers or their base is a great way to learn about military life. Plus I wanted something to do and I knew volunteering would be something that would be helpful and keep me busy. I went to the Family Readiness Center (online) and found out what areas on the base needed volunteers. I ended up volunteering at the Center itself, making pillow cases for children with deployed parents, and doing other odds and ends jobs.

3. Join a Girlfriends Group on Facebook

I know I have mentioned this before in other parts of this series, but this is one thing that has been a big help to me. The group gets together every once in a while and goes out to eat or meets for ice cream or something. It’s a great way to meet friends and it is how I met almost every single one of my friends here. You can also post on the group that you are looking for a work-out buddy a walking buddy, or even just a play date with the kids. A friend of mine posted about working out and we met at the local gym (before my wheelchair) to work out several times a week, and now that we have gotten to know each other we are great friends! Usually there will always be someone else who has the same interests as you, so why not speak up!

To read the rest of this series, click here:

• Young and in the Military: Getting Started
• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): GETTING SETTLED

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

Starting out:

When I first got together with my best friend (now boyfriend) he was a Marine in the US Marine Corps, "I had no idea what that would mean for me. I had no idea what military life was like, and knew nothing about the military in general. Since, I knew this was going to be my new life, I wanted to find out as much as I could about it." Here are a few things that I did and that I recommend to get started:

1. What it means for the girlfriend

As a girlfriend we are not able to do or get certains things a spouse can. But don't let that intimidate you because being a girlfriend is just as important as being a wife. Meaning girlfriends are unable to live on base, have a military I.D, and the SO usually lives in the barracks. I'm not sure how true this is so you may have to look into this, some SO's and their girlfriends can live together OFF post. If this is an option for the base "looking around online at houses in the area where my boyfriend was going to be stationed. We weighed the pros and cons of buying a house and moving into an apartment. Depending on what your situation is, it will be different for each family. If you read the first part of my series Young and in the Military: Getting Started, then you know that I suggested joining a support group or a military girlfriends group in your area or on Facebook. If you have done this, start asking questions of the wives/girlfriends who live in the area you are moving to and find out the best places to live."

2. Being there

My boyfriend right now, is based a few states away from me. So know your significant other may not always be there when important or big events happen. For example anniversaries, birthdays, births, graduations, etc. I realize I may not have my boyfriend physically with me during big events, I can always call, video chat, or text him though. So then I know he is here in spirit. I realize some girlfriends are going through a deployment or their significant other has field training, under these circumstances the rules then change. We have to be ready for these things...

3. Everything can change...

Always be ready for things to change. Not being family means even to write or email your significant other sometimes you have to contact family for this information. Also, know everything can change on a moments notice be sure to cherish EVERY. LITTLE. MOMENT. especially time together. If you have children together be sure to take care of them and yourself, your significant other will most likely never tell you that but you have to always be strong for your family.

To read the rest of this series, click here:

• Young and in the Military: Getting Started
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics

YOUNG AND IN THE MILITARY (The Girlfriend Perspective): GETTING STARTED

Note: I may earn money or products from the companies, products, or links mentioned in this post.

Starting out:

When I first got together with my best friend (now boyfriend) he was a Marine in the US Marine Corps, "I had no idea what that would mean for me. I had no idea what military life was like, and knew nothing about the military in general. Since, I knew this was going to be my new life, I wanted to find out as much as I could about it." Here are a few things that I did and that I recommend to get started:

1. Join a Support Group

There are even resources for the GIRLFRIEND, you just have to find them. Ask military wives/husbands also most often they are willing to help. Joining a support group even if it is online can help you make friends with other girlfriends even wives/husband whose significant other is in the military. Everyone in these groups are willing to give advice or answer any questions you have either about military life or a specific branch. when your SO deploys, having a support group is very helpful and you can always lean on them in a time of need, and give ideas about care packages and staying busy when your SO is away. "Here are four different support groups online, that are meant to help, encourage, and get you through.

• Christian Military wives
• Wives of Faith
• Faith Deployed
• Military Issued Girlfriends (Also for fiances and wives)

These aren't the only groups online to find, there is so many more on Facebook to look at, I just think these four are really really sites (other wives have recommended) to get you started. I know some bases have FRG's (Family Readiness Groups) but us girlfriend don't get that privledge of using. Although, if you have friends or maybe even military family you can always talk to them. Most likely they will be the ones who have “been there done that” and will be able to help you and answer your questions.

2. Learn more about where you're SO is at

As soon at my boyfriend told me where his base was, I got right online and googled everything I could to find out about it and their city around it. I found the main website for the base, I looked for a website about local activities and things to do, I looked for pictures of the area. I also looked for a girlfriends groups online that were specifically related to that base.

When you learn what base your SO is going to be stationed at, try to find out as much as you can. Google your base name and see what websites it will come up with. Also switch over to pictures and see if you can view pictures of the base or the area.

Another way to find out more about your SO's base. Is to go onto the social networking sites and find a girlfriends groups that are associated with the base. Do a search on:

Facebook
Twitter

What should you search for? When searching on these sites there are a few things you can enter in:

1. Try searching just your SO's base name.
2. Try searching “girlfriends” at “his base name.”
3. Try searching “SO's” at “his base name.”
4. Try searching for girlfriends in your boyfriend’s specific unit or squadron.

I have searched for numerous bases on these sites, and have yet to find any without any significant other groups or groups at all. If you do not come across any on the site of your choice, make one! I found several groups on myspace that were helpful, but because I did not care for Myspace I looked on Facebook.

What kind of questions do you ask when you join a spouses or SO group? When you join one of these groups associated with your base, ask whatever questions you want. Some popular ones are:

• What is the base like?
• What is the surrounding area like?

I’m sure, if you are like me there are tons of other questions you can come up with, but these are just a few to get you started. These groups can be very helpful and are a great way to meet new friends!

To read the rest of the series click here:

• Young and in the Military: Getting Settled
• Young and in the Military: Making Friends
• Young and in the Military: Girlfriend Basics